I recently read a post by Emma Judson that was largely about the evolution of our domestic dogs and specifically her reasons why separation anxiety has become a bigger issue over the past few years.
She discussed how the period of "puppyhood" and adolescence differs dramatically for domestic versus wild dogs. Through domestication and selective breeding, we’ve changed how dogs raise their young. Wild canids spend their first year among their own kind. Even after weaning around 8 weeks, pups are fed by their mother and relatives for a couple more months. Individual pups don’t go out on their own until around a year old.
In contrast, domestic dogs often are pretty much are done raising their pups between 7-12 weeks. Most puppies go to new homes between 8-12 weeks old. She noted that life has changed over the past 30 years and we more frequently require our pups to be home alone. Essentially we have created a situation where we have puppies that don't have any more skills for being on their own than their wild counterparts and yet we expect that they won't struggle when we leave them alone.
I won't argue that life is different for dogs than it used to be. Today, many households must have all the adults working full-time jobs. However, that doesn't mean that our pups have to struggle. We can teach our puppies to be okay being alone over the first weeks after bringing them home. Unfortunately, all too often we expect that we can bring them home one day and then leave them home while everyone goes to work and school the next day. That isn't fair. Your puppy has been removed from the known comfort and security of its littermates and deserves time to connect to its new family.
After the first day or two at home, you can start really small. Play peekaboo with your pup! Once your pup learns that you reappear after you disappear, practice short sessions where you leave the room and then reappear. Practice going to the main door you enter and exit your home from, then practice going outside and coming back in. Over time, build up how long you are out of the room and then out of the house.
Keep in mind that the younger a puppy is, the more frequently they need interaction (and potty opportunities!) so the alone time needs to stay pretty short. Your goal is to keep the durations below the threshold where your puppy starts to be worried or stressed so you do need to keep an eye out for signs that they are uncomfortable.
These sessions of alone time are not the same as nap time. Nap time is the blessed interval where you have the freedom to do things without needing to supervise your puppy. While you want your puppy relaxed, you don't want them asleep when you leave. If they wake up to find you gone, that can be even scarier to them. Who knows what happened to you? And if they sleep through the entire absence, it doesn't really count.
Use the S-A-F-E guidelines for absence exercises:
S= Sleepy (or not excited and wired)
A= All played out
F= Full belly ( has eaten recently but not right before you leave)
E = Empty bladder
If you have a puppy who is not predisposed to an issue with separation, and you practice absences following the guidelines you should be able to gradually increase the amount of time alone that your puppy is comfortable with. For most puppies, this should be a smooth process and you should find that they adjust to longer periods of alone time well.
If you have a puppy that struggles with being alone even if you have done short absences following the S-A-F-E guidelines, then you may need to do more systematic and slower alone training. In that case, you might want to work with a professional trainer certified to work with separation anxiety to help guide you.
Training to be ok alone is almost never taught in puppy classes but is a crucial life skill. It's included in my Foundational Life Skills curriculum for that reason. For more on virtual classes or separation anxiety, visit my website.
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