Yes....Yes...Yes!

Way more fun than saying no

On our daily walks, we pass a variety of people and other dogs. Given where we live and when we might be walking, there are days we walk and don't see any other dogs, but other days we might see quite a few. Some are indifferent to us but there are some we see that have difficulty just walking on by. Whether its because they really, really, really want to say "Hi!!!!!!!" or because they want to make sure the distance between us remains as distant as possible, there's a similarity in how other people tend to handle the situation.

This was a very warm and muggy morning walk. Fisher is checking in as we get ready to pass a house where a dog often barks at us as we walk past.

They say "No"

Lots and lots of variations of no is what we hear. Whether its "Bad dog", "No!", "Stop it!", "Shut up!" or yanking on the leash, it all is a variation of no. And it rarely has the effect that the person wants. They want their dog to stop barking. Or stop growling. And stop pulling on the leash, or stop trying to lunge towards us. I would guess (having been in their shoes and having a lunging pup acting as if he desperately wanted to meet every dog and person that came into our space) that the people may be feeling embarrassed, annoyed, frustrated, angry and/or incompetent. As a dog trainer, I definitely felt all of those when my pup acted as if his brain had left the premises.

My experience as a trainer, a teacher and a school administrator has been that the more frustrated you are about someone else's behavior, or the more impotent you feel trying to get that behavior to change, the more you tend to go towards the negative and the use of punishment. When the focus is solely on stopping or reducing a behavior, then you have entered that punishment mode. Sometimes punishment will reduce or stop a behavior- but if all you have done is say "no", then your dog doesn't know what you want them to do instead. And the behavior they choose instead might be just as annoying or even more dangerous.

So what does work to help your dog pass by other dogs without barking, lunging, growling?

I say "Yes"

What is more effective in the long run and over time is to find behaviors that you can say "yes" to. As we pass by a dog that is barking at us, I look for ways to tell my dog that every thing he does that isn't barking back, lunging, pulling, etc. is fantastic! Only sometimes is that in the form of a well-placed treat. Generally I use a treat for situations where the other dog is really struggling and Fisher is able to look away from that dog and back towards me. Mostly, however, I'm just telling him variations of "What a great guy you are!" and "Nice Job!" which are still forms of "yes".

And if he looks like he might have difficulty just walking on by, or if we are in a tight space, or there's a lot of stuff competing for his attention, I might give some specific directions. Usually that is in the form of a hand target, rarely it might be in our 1-2-3/emergency exit game.

When Fisher was younger, I spent a lot of time literally saying "Yes" (my reward marker) and rewarding any time he could look away from another dog or a person. We spent a lot of time doing hand-targets to turn his head, even for a little bit, so he wouldn't constantly be staring at another dog if we saw one. And we practiced walking past and stopping near, but not right next to, a friend's well mannered (and less than dis-interested in having an interaction with Fisher) dog.

We didn't build these skills overnight, however finding things to say "yes" to is not only effective, it puts both of us in a much more positive frame of mind. This makes for a stark contrast sometimes when we do encounter dogs hearing a lot of "no". One team is tense. You can see the physical tension in the leash, the body of the dog and the person, and usually the facial muscles of the person. You can usually hear the tension in the voice tone of the handler.

And then there's our team. Although I really shorten up the leash if the other team is going to be within about 6 feet of us at any point, or if the other dog is on a flexi-lead, usually there isn't tension in the leash as we walk by. Fisher is usually loose in his movements, sometimes he even gets a bounce in his step. Since I'm not holding on for dear life, my muscles aren't all tensed. I'm usually smiling as I tell Fisher how wonderful he is, and he is usually glancing at the other dog and then checking back in with me with his goofy, tongue hanging half-out look.

I'm not going to say that every walk is sunshine and roses. My dog still can do things that annoy the heck out of me and when I am frustrated, or in pain, or am not feeling well, I can get snappy. I might create a lot more leash tension, I might use phrases that are geared to stop or reduce what is happening. But usually, those aren't nearly as effective and I tend to get more frustrated. As soon as I realize and own what I am doing, I try to give Fisher things to do that I can reinforce. As soon as we can connect in a "yes", it tends to shift the walk for both of us in a much better direction.

So, try to find something to say "yes" to when you are out with your dog. The more you say "yes", the more enjoyable your walks will be for both of you!